stupid republising thing. have to post to make things work..

hmm. neway i'm shawn. if u noe tt photographer frm editorial, den u'll noe me. haiz.. guang liang's tong hua is realli nice.. hey d-guy n yishan so fast liaoz... so happy to see dem together.. my mum on the third stage liao. jia you. hey ame i juz wanna tell u tt ure realli the bez frien i've ever had compared to other useless ppl i've met. love ya.

Maybe I was guilty.
Maybe I was afraid what the outcome would be like.
And that's why I didn't meet you all at sakae.

This post was dedicated to you obviously.

Hmm what was my impression of you when I first met you..
Okay at the start.
Perhaps I was a little prejudiced upon people's looks.
And that's why I disliked you at the start of the year.

But then time past and everything was forgotten.
I knew I admired you with your blogskins and stuff.
Really fascinated.

Maybe it was when we wanted to buy the INK bags that all these started.
I was eager to go to town sometime and gary asked me out.
We both bought the INK bags at cineleisure.

Haha I still remember the funny conversation we had with the shopkeeper.
Which by the way we still owe her 50c.
That day we did went around jurong point first.
Haha I had this crave of sniffing everything that was around.

Duh of course I didn't do that everytime.
I did it because it made you smile.


Things starts to get more closer between us then onwards.
Then there was this class forum.
Both of us were involved as the admins of it.
Maybe that's when communication between us grew.
We started to plan stuff.
Like the outing perhaps.

Haha I still remember the name we gave you.
"MER PEI PEI."
Obviously you were unhappy with that.
Thus you see me taunting you lesser gradually.

Then the outing came in.
3:three outing.
Haha we basically planned much of everything.
I'm glad so.

Haha at that point of time we were sitting behind and infront of each other.
We both agreed that the laughing dunce was mingqi.
Daphne was nice,
And julian was gay.

Then yeah maybe that's when we bonded more.
I started to get you included in everything I do,
Likewise for you.

We both establised X-Bloggers at a point of time.
It was rather stupid because it first grew out from a liking to X-Men.
Remember ICEBOY & SILVER SILHOUETTE.
I don't know why we had those stupid ideas either.

I took a liking to bball.
And o2jam, because of you perhaps.
And kingdom hearts.
And stuff and stuff.

I became stronger to a point that I'm not getting more sick than ever anymore.
I think you do realise that.
Until I think around which point of time.
Was it september 04?
Yeah we went to sentosa.

I realised that you and gary,
Seemed much more closer.
That all I wanna do was to stay away.

Tha'ts stupid thinking.
I don't know what came to me.
I became very afraid of everyone around me.
I was scared that I will be deprived of everything I had.
Losing what I had now.

You showed me the door then.
You told me that everything was okay.
Yeah indeed I took belief in you.
But gradually it happened again.

More and more.
The pain won't stop.
I don't know why I became like this anymore.


Yeah in the end.
Up till today.
I remember everything we had.
And maybe because I was so afraid,
That every now and then I will start to panic,
and fear,
And not know what to do.

But now looking back.
I hope we could revert to what we were before.
And maybe.
Then we'll see whether we turn out to be lifelong pals.

I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused.
I didn't even know that I was hurting you so much.
It's this kind of isolation that I find it hard to live.

Thank you for entrusting me again and again.
Thank you for ensuring me that everything is okay.
And this time round,
It's up to you to decide the fate of this friendship.

I know we wouldn't be like before.

But I just want you to know.
I neveer wanted this to end from the start.

This time I have confidence,
Belief in both you and me.
Can we stop with these contradiction?
Thank you.


Hope you'll react the way I want you to after you read this.


-shawn