I can't take this anymore.

Since yesterday, I was fuming with rage and stuff.
Because once I got home,
I realised my dad had confiscated my laptop wire.

Okay maybe I realised long before something like this will happen.
After taking a quick shower,
I went to the living room and asked my mom whether she wanna play bowling or pool
Opposite my house.
I seriously need to take a break from studying.
And my mom is a good friend I can have.

Maybe my dad was quite pissed I didn't ask him.
Because when my mom refused,
He asked me why I went to play pool.
In the tone like I cannot be playing pool.
So I freaked.
I muttered, "who asked you."
and stormed to my room.

Then I decided to like use the com instead.
But then I discovered the adapter was missing.
well the adapter was two-part.
One part was still attached,
But without the other,
You can't use it.
Then I realised that my dad probably confiscated it because I was always using the com.

So I went outside and screamed to my dad.
It was quite a war.

-"WHY THE HELL DID YOU TAKE MY ADAPTOR." in chinese.
-"WHY CANNOT. EVERYDAY USE SO LONG. U DON'T KNOW WHAT OUTSIDE BILL HOW MUCH.. .. .. "
-"DO YOU KNOW I LIKE HAVE TO USE IT EVERYDAY TO BLOG AND STUFF."
-"I DON'T CARE."
-"DO YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE MY WHOLE SONGS INSIDE I LISTENS TO WHEN I WANNA STUDY."
-"I DON'T CARE."
-"......"

And then I went to my room, and slammed the door real hard.
Closed all the air-cons and started pouring everything out from my bag.
And study and study and study.
At that point of time, I just wanna study like hell.
Then I blasted my mp3 and locked the door.
I don't care anymore.

I studied all the way like till 9 plus from 7.
Then I collapsed in my bed.
And started sleeping.
I don't even know the family went out.
Okay maybe I did, because when I asked my mom whether she wanna go bowling and stuff,
She said she have to buy my cousin's present.
Whose party would be later.
But ah either they didn't bother to ask me to go,
Or I just didn't hear them screaming outside the door, because the music was blasted in my ears.
So loud I could hear nothing but music at all.

Wasn't before long till somebody was slamming my room's window.
My room is like facing the pavement corridor outside the house.
So like I woke up.
And realised my family was back,
But they had no one to open the door.

I just went out, took the key,
And stick it in the keyhole.
Then went back to my room, slammed and locked the door once more.

Then like around 10plus?
Someone was slamming the door damn loud.
Then Iturned around and opened the door,
It was my mom.
I didn't screamed at her or fumed at her.
Because she wasn't the one I was angry with.

I found out my mom and dad was like searching through the keys,
to open my room door.
Well so she was trying to get me outside,
to drink some soup.

I just went out and drink.
At the table saw my father scruyying away with the keys and stuff,
Trying to see which keys goes to my room.
My mom then came and sat down.
She wasn't angry at me either.
I was shocked because I thought she was.

So I told her about my dad.
I think my dad overheard stuff.
So I said he very overboard.
Then went to my room and went back studying like siao.
I was close to tears but I just dont fricking wanna cry.



You never respected my decisions.
You never see how I worked.
You never knew how hard I tried.
You never thought about how I felt.
You never showed some care or concern.

Although I know you do.
Although I know you cared.
Although I know you understood me.
Although I know you love me.

Maybe you can try.
Maybe I can try.
Maybe I do not hate you at all.
Maybe I love you too.

Dad.
Please grow up.

Take me to my dreams and wishes.
Take me to my wishes and dreams.
Wish me to my dreams.
Dream me to grow big.
Grow me to dream big.
And I will take you to where I dreamt and wished.


shawnn.