Monday, March 19, 2007
I'm starting to hate life.
Starting to fear waking up each day to find myself being lost.
What is this feeling I don't know.
The fear of getting people to lecture me to scream at me
The fear of screwing every single thing up
Fear of having no time to complete what I'm supposed to finish
The fear of being sick of being sick.
I want help I need help
I want to cry but tears don't seemed to fall why is this happening.
Becoming more and more mean becoming more and more isolated
The cheerful shawn I want to be him back
It's so difficult compared to last time of having to live
When everything was just plain naive but now everything is out of place
The stress of needing things to be right the stress of doing it all alone
I'm starting to feel lonely and feel scared but no solutions
The feeling of facing another day irks me
The feeling that everyone around me finds me sickening to be with
Finding me more and more irresponsible
What's making me irresponsible is those fears
those fears stressing me bit by bit like all confined inside me
sealing itself all inside not willing to get out
Again I feel like crying like everyday is ending so fast
My goal of becoming better is becoming more and more unreachable
The feeling of wasting time each day when I don't want to
The want to run away from problems from every single thing that's happening to me
Frankly I'm lost here and I no longer know what I'm supposed to do now.
in no place to speak what hahaha seemingly doing fine.
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