haiyo today quite fun lahs. haha another studying-out.

woke up at the wrong side of the bed. dun feel like getting up. cos slept at about 2 yesteday. den have to get up early cos going for the amaths study-out at mac behind our school. so like ok loh sian sian one. take mrt. in the end late. haha always do. reached seeing a few faces. julian, pengyang, kenghuat(so fast loh, when i left the hse he still online), zhengjie, shuyu, jialin, angela, jieting, lifen and mslow. so kinda paiseh. but also so few pple. sian.

we studied till about 11plus. den went to play pool. after that went back to mac but noone has any feeling to study anymore. lols the gurls planned to go to shuyu hse to study and bake cake and eat spagattee. wth? lol so the guys decided to go to pengyang's house. julian went home to sleep while ms low went to shop. so we took a bus to jurong point first. cos pengyang wanna buy mothers' day present(shit i haben buy..). den after that bought long john silver. saw geradine. den took bus to pengyang's house.

at first it was quite hot. and warm. den they all play soccer on tv. me nth to do. so sit there and watch loh. den i went to sleep on the couch for awhile. den we also talked about stuff lohs. after that we went home. the end.

haiyo i noe today very sian lah. nth to talk about also. if u wan to request me for elaboration, come see me personally. haha. jkjk.

i am so etched out today. probably because of all the stress and time constraint. woke up in the morning periodically. my mind probably not used to waking up so late. haha wth.

there is mt oral today. so its like i hafta be in school in the morning by 10.30am or else the dreadful teacher, ms mushmon(yihui) will deduct marks from chinese results. its really getting frusfrating and unbearable. if u had seen her in class, u wld feel the same way as i do. she dun teach well. she has no respect for the students. so why shld we respect her?

anyway i had the most unseemed timing. i mean i woke up in the morning thats to be sure. but after that i slacked and finally left at around 10.20. i was like, oh shit wad am i gonna do. yep pple NOTE IM NOT RICH but i took a taxi to school in the hurry. got off and walked into the school with jonar. we were then 2 minutes late. and jonar seemed worried.

familar faces roamed around the classroom where the oral exam took place. surprised to find pple supposingly have their exam from 9.30 - 10.00 still there. pple were outside at the benches and in the neighboured class. filing their chinese file and doing the chinese assignment whilst waiting for their turn. damn i nvr bring. well anyway it was instructed by mushmom. oh yea i went really hyper. walked around, hugged a few people. i was supposed to meet qingquan and pple for study group and like already quite late. so yepp eventually i left the school at around 11 plus closing in to 12. saw my aunt who came to my school for the parenting talk. went on the same bus in the end.

reached around 1. changed into slippers and home clothes which i brought along. went up and found qingquan. he seemed rather cold. well true since he';s been waiting there from around 10. lol haha so yep we went to eat since qingquan was also hungry. after that met kumar karthick aarthi and poovita. saw jq and lifen together. lols. den like study till 4. i made aarthi worried and mad again. for bringing up the premotion that im gonna die soon. sorry aarthi. but i cant promise you i wun talk about it anymore. im quite bothered about those that will cry for me if i lose my existence. please don't please.

went to jurong point to transfer bus to pioneer mac for another study group. first to arrived. pengyang arrived shortly. and then xiaoting joined us. at first with only me and pengyang, things were rather normal, but with xiaoting to the picture, things just gets too hilarious. i laughed uncontrollably till i had stomach cramps and have to go potty. (eww. hahas.) well we ate at py's mum's noodle store which was a walk away from pioneer mall. but along the way we talked about school stuff. eg the couples in the school. like randy and wanlin, joel and jiayi, xiao ting and fahan.... etc. also talked about [C] (rather keep it secret cos it might offend her). attitudation.

after dinner, which was full of crap about fanny, we went home together on a 99 bus. i was the last to get off as usual. transfered to 157. got off, crossed the road, walked up the stairs and reached my doorstep feeling really tired and beat. went to take a shower and ta-da. hais tml still have another amaths gathering. special guest: MS LOW. lol jk. meeting py at 9. haissszz.

wow. its been a long day. finally back at home. hais. just had english paper 1 today. couldn't think of anything else..

its been rather a long and hard and tiring day. stress all written over my face. my study routine is currently behind planned. argh why must exams come so fast?

i sneezed alot in class today. possibly got a little flu. no big. oh ya mr.lee was very stern today. it was a close call cos right after recess, he was seen at the front door when a number of 3-4s people were using their handphones in their class. he was so angry that he confiscated their handphones. when he was in 3-4, it was a moment of panic in ours. cos don was listening to my phone and he sweared mr.lee saw. so like we hid and dunno where ended up with mingqi. we were also returned to our original seating arrangement. drats.

i had a gay torture during amaths. surrounding me with gays such as yusof and zijian. hais i sick somemore. den they also bully zixin. poor thing. after that i stayed in school waiting for aarthi they all. so like nth to do so accompany chih chiang they all outside 3-2 lohs. got alot of people. some whom i recognised as gary, elton, joel and max. hais so sian. den finally the hmt and geog class ended. we went to kfc to have lunch.

as we bid goodbye to qingquan after leaving kfc, i turned a little crzy and danced on the road again. met fanny and some guy from 3-4 at the bus stop, and also kumar and kartick. den 98 bus came and i got off and aarthi's stop. i told aarthi about this premonition that im gonna die soon, and i've asked her what she will do. she said she hasn't thought of it. but i can see that she dun wanna me to die. but at the same time, i dun wanna her to cry for me so i told her. and i called amelia and told her too. bless them.

it had started to drizzle as i reached my stop. upon reachig home found out that there isnt any bowling lanes available for today, tomorrow or even sunday. but i cant possibly go tomorrow or sunday. cos have study groups outside. speaking of which, i think its really efficient. i had already caught up with my academics.

going for mt oral exam tomorrow. hais sian. but have to go. drats. wish me luck. its 10.30. den after that still have to meet qingquan at library to study till about 3 plus, den meet pengyang they all to study for another round. busy busy.

right now cant sleep. so shall revise my amaths. ta-ta.

so beat. just got home from school. haha had so much fun though.

today rained. so went up to class for lesson. saw whole class and mr. lee. so paiseh. lols. den got chem and physics. all so boring gg thru notes. no offence it was.

as usual we played cards during recess. nth much again. but sth happened. i think py had a fallout with mingqi, and somehow lifen got involved. but wth lets put this away okay. i mean everything is back to normal now. haha.

after mother tongue which was inspiriing torture, we moved the tables and chairs into the exam seating arrangement. stupid ian. i remembered he nvr helped at all. still walk into other classes as if nothing is happening. in the end only me and mingqi like only ones truely moving the tables an chairs. i mean yeah jeanne and pinkoon also have.

during physics lesson, me, don, yonghao and mervin sat at the back secretly playing cards in one row. lol it was fun. den py, kenny and alot of others turned out to plan a study group in the canteen.

yah overall was quite fun. jialin dropped her ice-cream. lol. den jasmine danced in the canteen. errs lol. shuyu seemed rather stressed out. py dipped ice cream on his fave pe tee. diao. den we played this game called "hah? wat" where people had to say hah in one direction in a big circle and den if they say wat they have to say it in the opposite direction. so fun. jieting shouted and open all the taps in the canteen. py and kenny screamed i lurv u to mr lee. jialin scratched the notice board. jasmine screamed across the then-empty canteen. only me and mingqi nvr kana punishment.

we went home tired. angela and zhi mei and pple so hardworking. still in canteen. zheng jie, lifen, jiaqian, yichao, zijian and don left early. haha on the way to bus stop the gurls damn noisy loh. but wad can i say. its three-3. cant help. reaching the bus stop, me py and kenny took 30 bus to jp. on the way py called kenny's admirer and asked him to talk to her. lol so embarrasing. but also amusing cos kenny just chuckled over the line. hais.

i took 187 home and slept on the bus. den i woke up it was my stop. den like whoa omg faster ran out of the bus. phew.

a day left to the unofficial beginning of exam. lord please bury me alive. thank you.

whoa. today so fun.

actually the start wasn't really that fun. i arrived in school. WITH A NEW HAIRSTYLE. COOLNESS. and den got this temperature taking. argh den i nvr bring mah. cos spoilt-bring also no use. in the end borrowed 5 bucks from merV(bdae boy!*) to buy. den went up hall for lecture about examinations preparations.

after that during bio it was quite lazily too. whispers about merv going to have his destiny during recess. haha boy it was exciting. he was bashed by the gurls (distinctly remember jieting's ultra pain slap. ouch.), gangraped by boys, sprayed by the gurls again and so on. although it shld be quite solemn since the exams is just 2 days away. but it turned into a fun day. haha den the whole class also had fun.

after recess which we played cards as usual, the english lesson was quite.. argh. i mean ms wee asked us to rewrite our summary out of no reason. kinda hate her for doing that. and mie just lie on the table for awhile she went and screamed at face to get up and do the work. me also reading right. argh bitch.

during cme, the project speeches were quite .... weird. luckily jonar did the project presentation. the face scary. and lol mingqi or shld i say, ah ming so funny. all the stuff she said wld make me laugh. lol. after that we went to the bb court for a surprise on march and april 3-3 babies.

actually the whole class knew about it. but just to make it fun, we pretended not to noe. in the end yes we tricked the babies again and sang bdae songs for them. we played games that was actually an onsomble for the following celebration of surprises. den went to the canteen to sing another bdae song for merv since it was his bdae. after that a few of us chased after him and smash whipped cream from the cake at his face. haha. he had to wash anumber of times cos alot of us smashed it. all of us had fun.

returning to class for a relaxation after all the exhaustion. kumar and i pro seh. win 3 out of 3 taiti card games. haha. den waa mr ooi come in all the atmosphere changed. argh got mock exams. drats. but lucky me i knew how to solve the questions. haha. coolness..

went to gombak mac to study with amelia after going home. hais so cold. den she carried tons of studying books just for the group. so poor thing cos qien couldn make it. hais den we went home on mrt after that.

shit now still haven washed my hair. i mean i did in the afternoon when i got home. its just full of wax thats all. don''t bother to bathe. haha will go wash now. till then, ta.ta.

heyo people. haven really been online for a long time. and when i say long, i meant loooooooooooonnnnnnnnggggggggggg......

so far. alot of stuff happened. yes i refuse to write down all the unhappiness. haha no la. just too busy to write. 4 more days to exams. hais. "is anyone preparing my funeral yet? other than those who are also dying because of the upcoming mid-year disaster.." BUT AH. i have already started studying. wondered i could absorb anot. but ah so far so good. my emaths test and amaths test get A1. haha after the fellout with my parents, im getting back my touch on my acadamics.

a few days back. i actually fell out with py_bro. no actually he fell out on me. but we made up. its cool now. actually we fell out cos i came late for one of the impt study groups. buzzer. but anyway. i wld do anything to make up for it okay bro? brothers forever.

busy busy busy. the sch mag coming so pple stop asking me. oh ya i bought alot of school supplies. got new notebook. bought 2 new house tee. haha nice. also bought one pair of bigger shorts. and also i've uploaded quite a number of songs in my phone. well to add in, of cos i hafta delete some of them. well it was okay cos there were some which i had really gotten sick of.

mothers' day coming. heyya pple gimme idea. buy wad for my mum. haha sms me at 97601307 kae. anyway also have to compensate fatin's thumbdrive. stupid me so long lost already still haven return. die la no $$..

today they cut their hair lehs. so many pple look so different. and i was late today. damn. i wanna cut my hair too. but ah no time. precious killer machine. draining ever bit of the freedom i have. at least i thought it is.

yay sundays are officially bowling days /slash/ nights. COMPULSORY! lol. and ah the new country club opposite. im officially a supplementary member of that club. hee hee. so that means i can go there and swim as when as i want! its cool.

during the good friday holidays, went to james's house (lennon). wow his house is so damn spectacular. so big. den the guest room bed so comfy. and omg cheryl's voice indeed very nice. and erm lennon just gets the song all ... woofed up. haha. but anyway i like nikki the dog. NOT U JILL. yes nikki is cute. and omg they have a jacuzzi which faces the open AT THE LIVING ROOM. and like right underneath have swimming pool. went to swam in it. so damn cool. haha like the paddling thing. nice. wore lennon's clothes though. to swim. cant risk to get my clothes wet. lol.

they going to get an outdoor basement. like so damn cool loh. hais. after that i went to my cousins' house. their parents whom went with my other cousin who borrowed my lappie toppie are overseas. which meant their aunt and uncle is taking over. but its quite okay. tania and i had secret bike-out, and we even cycled to lenn's house. jere and i had secret night out at thomsom. he ate kfc despite his coughs. hais bad jeremy. but we eventually met up with the family who found out. haha we din get scolded. and we even rented harry potter 4 which we stayed up till very late at the living room huddling the pillows and bolsters from upstairs watching the movie.

i had to bid goodbye the next day. but den we went bowling. aww damn my mum won me. haha. but just yesterday which was another bowling night, i beat my record. now its 132. haha. by one. althought not a big thing i supposed. but still commentable.

we having amaths outing-remedial this sunday. awaiting it. aww tml have thermometer check. hais sian. lalala. i guess i shall go ransack my memories and see if i can dig up some more to publish. to make up for all the posts i missed. oh ya. alert. changing blogskin and friendster skin soo. with newly-modified songs. hint: i promise. ta-ta.

hais finally a time to blog. these days grounded. cant even blog. im losing the touch. how?

argh it was a refreshing morning. cos surprisingly i slept at 11 on a friday night. yeah so i woke up at 9. been blurish. stayed in my room, read some comics. and finally stepped out of my room at 9.45.

dad had went to work. mum preparing for work. sisters still asleep. argh kinda wu liao. so anyway around 11 i got an argument with my dad again. expected. like these few days wasnt good for me. and my family. now im so sick. argh.

i got out of my house at about 11.50. haha bizzat sorry lokie. cos like actually was supposed to meet him at 11.30 at his house. cheryl's going there too mah. he saying everything about how cheryl is a punctual person. and like i shld actually appear earlier too. haha but hais nvm. so i reached. and yes we hanged in his room. my first impression of cheryl(first impressions are very important) was that she is a kinda ... funny person. cos like she bossed lokie around for a ringtone. by my chemical romance. then like "no it was before the boom boom thing", "no u went too far out. further more". lol. i was laughing my stomach out. luckily it wasnt the only thing that lasted all my laughs.

under some circumstances, we left the house at around 2 i think. HAIS. LOKIE LA. BATHE SO LONG. haha no la cos we spent the time cursing regine. and bragging about mariah. so anyway we went out and took a bus. to creative technologies near imm. lokies wanna tryout the product before actually buying it. MY SUGGESTION. YAY.

yes we reached. and yes cheryl amused me. like we were crossing the road. den she jaywalked. cos yes the car is stationed there waiting for the green light. so like cheryl walked. ON THE ROAD. like as in the road. not across the road. so like she even danced. yes kinda complicated. but u wld be kinda amused too if u noe the true situation. haha.

we reached. and toured around. den cheryl went to see whether she can fix her mp3. haha i took alot of mentos sweets. den we found a computer there. thats when the prank on lennon happened. we did this video. about watching lennon's video posted on youtube in public. LOL. the video was kinda funny. haha.

den we played with the products. like one of it was the webcam thingie. lokies videorecorded one "newscast" about lennon and someguy having phone sex. eww. but the video that turned out was kinda blur. me being the camera. i giggled alot. and we left. den lokie wanna do a magneto-shot. cos like woh the sliding door moved. but ah like became a real funny video. cos like me and cheryl took the wet umbrella plastics and started blowing. LOL.

we took a bus to orchard. takashimaya first. lokie cant find the louis vuitton bag he wanna take a pic of. so we goofed around and finally went to the basement to buy something to eat. ate roti-prata sausages recommended by them. it was nice and delicious. i dun hate it. =D lokie and cheryl ate oct balls too which they do everytime they come here. and me ate ice cream. nice mix for my dinner huh.

we went to heeren next. big place. stayed in hmv a loong time. lokie bought a cd. dunno what izzit but haha nvm. den we went to the uppermost level to take a neoprint. cool pics that came out. enjoyed ourselves. den walked to centerpoint. lokie finally bought the mp3. den went to the basement to get a beverage. after that we went back home via mrt cos it was getting late.

on the way home, ive talked to lokie about a few stuff like the linking birds and candis. hais so saddening everything always have to fall apart. hais but who can change the course of nature. so i bb. i loitered around at west mall cos im so sick to go home. face my family again? rather not. den went to the void deck. chatted with amelia. told her about my problem. den finally went up.

man its so crowded. well its true my cousins are here. from both sides. hais so the adults played mahjiong loh. the kids so bo liao. so me and jeremy sneaked out soon to the pasar malam near. haha ps the rest. but they wun care less lah. busy playing pc. well me and jeremy enjoyed ourselves. bought lot of food sponsored by jeremy's father who gave us money. but most importantly this was a time where no adults were with me and jeremy. cos jeremy comes from a very overprotective family. i think jeremy really enjoyed himself. however he shld learn how to housekeep money, and communicate with others better.

went back home. so tired. den quite boring loh. played pc. den eventually they went home. and now im in my room typing this entry. and im listening to so sick by the way. yay finally found it. coolness.

days after days, my life is getting shorter. someone please. pull me out of this bottomless pit. its swallowing me up.

IM SICK OF YOU ALL. SCRAM. I DUN WANNA HEAR ALL URE CRAP.

NUMBUH ONE. SHE. STINKS. I DUN NEED U. TREAT URE FRIENDS LIKE GOLD. THEY ASK U EAT SHIT U EAT SHIT. THEY LIKE THIS ONE U ALSO LIKE THIS ONE. CRAP U. AND LIKE U ALWAYS LIE. LIE AND LIE. TALK DIFFERENTLY THAN WHAT REALLY HAPPENED. DEN ALL BLAME ME LAH. U SHIT. SCREAM ALL YOU WAN. SIDE WITH THEM. YESTERDAY U EVEN BEGGED ME TO JUST TELL U STH. BECAUSE OF A FRIEND. I HAD ENUFF. I DUN WANNA HEAR URE REASONS NO MORE.

NUMBUH TWO. SHE. U THINK WHAT. MONEY BEARER AH. CONTROL ME WITH MONEY AGAIN LAH. I HAD ENUFF. AND I THOUGHT. U ACTUALLY CARE. AND I THOUGHT. U WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MORE THOUGHTFUL. EVER SINCE THAT TALK. ABOUT HOW U WAS HURT. ABOUT HOW U THNK U WAS WRONG. ABOUT HOW U WANNA DO UP TO IT. ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED. GUESS I WAS WRONG. LOOK AT THE ATTITUDE U SHOWED ME TODAY. NO MORE. I DUN WANNA CARE ANYMORE. AND I THOUGHT STUDYING WILL EASE URE HEARTACHES MORE. I WANNA DO YOU PROUD. BUT WHAT NOW.

NUMBUH THREE. HE. U FREAKINGLY GO AWAY LAH. SHIT YOU. ALWAYS SCOLD SCOLD SCOLD. I TREAT OTHERS WHEN THEY TREAT ME THE SAME WAY FIRST. HAVE U EVER THOUGHT U WAS RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING. DEN WHY THE RESTRICTIONS. WHY THE KEEPING OF WIRES AND STUFF. U WANNA CONTROL. BUT HAVE U EVER THOUGHT ABOUT US. LIKE HOW WILL WE SURVIVE. LIKE U. ALWAYS SMOKE OUTSIDE. EVERYTHING WORRY ABOUT URE MONEY THAT IS. IF THATS THE CASE. WHY DO U EVEN PRETEND TO CARE. LIKE HOW U SHOUTED IN MY EAR. I DUN WANNA LISTEN. AND I PULLED THE PHONE AWAY. WHATS WRONG ABOUT ME NOT LISTENING. COS I'VE LISTENED ENUFF. THE CRAP U SAID. THE STUFF U ALL BARKED ABOUT. I DUN WANNA LISTEN ANYMORE.

SOMEDAY. SOMEDAY IM GONNA LEAVE. IM GONNA DESTROY MYSELF. MY HEART IS ALREADY IN PIECES. WHATS THE DIFFERENCE. U POKE MORE THORNS IN THE PIERCED HEART. AND WHEN IM RECOVERING. U BREAK ME DOWN EVEN MORE. IM GONNA LEAVE SOMEDAY.

SHAWN IS DEAD. DEAD ON 1ST OF APRIL. DEAD. SOLELY DEAD. AS HE WALKS TO THE HELL ATTENDANCE LIST. SOBBING AND WEEPING. THE PAST FLASHES IN FRONT OF HIM. AND HE WAVES THE PICTURES AND FLASHBACKS. DESTROYING EVERYTHING. AND NOW HE'S AN ORPHAN. A DEAD ORPHAN. AN ORPHAN WHO SHLDN HAVE BEEN BORN.

ALL THE TALK ABOUT RESPECT. NO ONE RESPECTED ME. AND NOW IM GONE. GOODBYE.