Frankly I don't blame my brother. I don't blame the group. I don't blame myself either. It's everyone's fauit isn't it.

I talked to my brother a few minutes ago. He just went offline. I feel so stupid. Why did I keep saying stuff bad about him. I wouldn't know till he showed me. I'm sorry but I know sorry means nothing with no action.

I don't wanna lose him. It's just that he had already become something that matters. Everything he does matters. I look up to him.

At that time I quarrelled with him, I said alot of stupid stuff. But at tha time. I really do feel very angry. And I was wrong. I had placed all the pressure that fell on me on him. And I'm sorry again. Everybody says stupid stuff when they're angry. Sorry really.

On my birthday. When he didn't do anything. I could say I wasn't really happy about my birthday on that day. I wished I was born sometime before we quarrelled. So that at least I had a brother who would care about me.

It's really him (and Jasmine) that had changed the way I am since sec2. In both ways I guess. Good or bad. But it's all something that I would want to keep.

About jialin. I don't really care. Not about the project but about her. How can she accuse of me like that. What do she think me for.

If you're looking. I'm really sorry okay. But I really want you to continue to exist in my life. I could talk to, look up to and care for.


World. Can you stop shrinking me already.