hmm. pple ask why i blog so much. lol its me. its my life. why not happy ah. im not sayying i wanted to prove that i can write about all the stuff everyday. so read or get lost. its my blog. =DD *peace*

hais today another boring day. i woke up in the morning to discover that i slept for 13 hours straight. wooh. its a little abnormal. lol. and i missed breakfast. which leaves the fact that i hadn't eaten until 9 from 3pm ytd. coolness.

throughout the day py and jas and me keep talking. we came to noe that an upper-sec couple was having sex in a 3rd-floor cleaner's toilet the day before. jasmine and i first talked about it, and we made a bet that py wld turn high once he knew it. amazingly, he did. wow. anyway im quite glad they both do appreciate me cos its real fun talking to them. cos they are the one who pulled me out from the despair i felt in my heart due to the results of my end-of-year streaming last year. really glad. thanks guys. =D

during pe i played badmitton with daphene(wateva u spell) and zixin today. finally after 2 whole weeks or three of missing pe, mr. choong came back. oh ya zixin and daphene praised my badmitton skill. lol zixin kept saying sorry. and daphine keep shooting the sheltercock at me. but no i din minded. it was great fun playing with u both.

as usual i din understand anything for amaths today. we are supposed to memorise all the formulae and indices. cos i think they said we're gonna have an amaths test this friday. so early... AND JASMINE AND PY ATE CHEESE FLAVOURED TWISTIES IN FRONT OF ME. damnit they were teasing me since i cant eat dairy products espc like cheese and milk. screw them haha.

during recess i was damn hungry. it was the only period i get to eat after 19 long hours. i ate a plateful of chee chong fun and nuggets, and a packet of milo. i forced it down. lol. during english miss wee used fanny's draft as a compo how we were using primary school's english to do the compo test. wonder how fanny felt. i bet it was anything from happy since i mean ure letting the whole class KNOW that u did a compo so bad. oh and jasmine and i discussed about the *hua-xin*ness and *chi-xin*ness of both sexes. we did a long debate whereas i was neutralised at the end of it, standing on neither parties.

chinese was the worst period. the teacher nagged and nagged about all the late-handing in crap and stuff. and oh u guys noe? there will be a chinese test during thursday. joy. oh and we were to hand in this stupid compo-redo cos alot of pple did it badly. wth?

i stayed in school to wait for aarthi and else cos they were supposingly released at 1.45 when my class came out at 1.15. hais boring it was an i almost fell asleep. there was a moment of sickness and embarrassment and people walked past me as they went to the back gate. man why did i wait forr them?

we went to kfc and saw mr ching there. lol aarthi provoked mr ching and said she don't see any size difference when mr ching said i was fat and he slimed down jokingly. yeah and then mr ching replied that he did. but still i stood on aarthi's side and i agreed that i see no difference. after like finish eating everything, we sat there at chatted about maid abuse from aarthi's childhood. and jill's cancer-stricken father. man why are my friends' lives all so bad.

aarthi and i took a 98a bus and well i din noe cos the driver made us get off at corporation drive. i thought it was gonna loop but wth. yeah we crossed the road and took a single-deck 98 bus. we discussed about the phil of the future's last episode and when we reached the usual bus stop. THE ASS GOT ON. and i turned away the minute she came over and confronted aarthi. i wasnt ready for any of these. we din speak at all. but as i got off at aarthi's stop (which THANKS HEAVEN she din), aarthi told me how she was told by HER not to speak to me on the bus. i mean like come on, fuck off. i dun care. go away. far from here.

as i got on another 187 bus, i saw sham. was great fun talking to him since i din see him for a long time after 2004 lps's sports day. we chatted about stuff like miss seet moving school and everything and why he din came back to LPS all these years. he changed alot man. now he's a peaceful guy in a band. anyway he is in track and field. I MEAN LIKE OMG HE'S IN TRACK??!! unbelievable. guess all of us had changed since our primary school times.

well thats all. oh ya HAPPY BIRTHDAY to fanny and my aunt. sorry for not wishing. =D

Some lessons i got from my friend's blog(ellise, available at peep_links). they do make sense.

Lesson Number One

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not."So, the Rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson Number Two

A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy.
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
Soon, he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out ofthe tree.

Moral of the story:Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson Number Three

A little bird was flying south for the winter.
It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.
While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!

The morals of this story are:

1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut

all the stories do make sense. but yes i wld nvr come up with sth like that. -.-

i got it from ellise's blog, which she got got from shuyi's(her friend) blog, and she got it from candy's blog. whoever candy is. hahahahs. >.<

lol. im was a little dreamy in school. cos i slept at 1.19am ytd and woke up like 5 today. dupe.

i brought my new-bought quiksilver bag and wallet to sch today. lol pple like jasmine, fanny and mingqi all went so chi dai de envious. =DD.

hais sian.. chem lab partner coincidently jasmine. wow. we do have "fate". lols. anyway she was like relaxed and i had to go get all the apparatus. man and hmm SHE LOOKED SO CUTE. like a kindergardener. like she very innocently dissolving the solution and pouring the thing on the filter funnel, den she realised she din put enough water. man so cute. oh ya iriami's group had their salt poping out while heating. wah scary. almost hit me. but still jasmine so dan cun. no jasmine if u see this im not in love with you. just thought u were cute and funny.

the day went past quickly. i did worse for my bio retest. hais sian diao. but i nvr really put high hopes. its still the slacking period for me now. even when its common tests.

during recess jill told me that she wld have to cut up costs. its because of his dad's costly chemotherapists sessions that costs $8000 per week. hmm. oh ok we shall not go to kfc often then. so i treated her nuggets. AND THE QATS NVR CAME DOWN AT ALL. made me lose the purpose of going to the canteen during recess. hmph.

after recess we totally joked about lame riddles. eg u say "lao shu"(mice in chinese) for alot of times, den when others asked you what are cats afraid of, you will come to say mice too. lol and there was this ship-repeat riddle. the answer is to repeat the question everytime. lol freaked us out man.

fanny canceled the water bomb thing for today. much probably everyone went home. was looking towards this event. ;) oh well after school i sat with fanny in awaiting for 3/5 pple to get off. yes the stupid aarthi went to canteen so tanya and i had to walk allthe way there just to meet her. feel like smacking her.

going to nap later.

wow. today was awesome. wahahas.

i slept at 6 ytd and woke up today at 10plus11. wow when i woke up i already feel amazingly refreshed and not tired at all. yeah so i went online(for pple who noticed) and i had an arguementative catfight on youtube with a guy called soulsiren on a video which was about a pinoy pop superstar idol called regina singing kelly clarkson's since you've been gone. click here if u want to see what's going on.

lokies and i agreed to meet at 1.45 because we decided to go to orchard. lol he left the house at abt that time and i kept him waiting for half an hour cause' i had to finish eating lunch and takng the bus which i reached at about 2.30pm. haha his face was like half black, but i made him to like trying not to laugh when i "reversed" the situation saying that it was his fault we are this late and discussing about how regina was so inoriginal singing MC's songs and KC's songs.

we took the bus 105 there and i played middle finger fight with him. he was well quite irritated so i was satisfied. anyway i slept on the bus after awhile listening to my discman which was playing the cd burned by lokies fulled of mariah carey's ballad songs. luckily i woke up when we arrived near tanglin so i dun get like screamed awake by lokies if he tries to give his revenge.

firstly we walked all the way to takashimaya cause lokies craves for octopus balls(cheese and bacon flavour*i remember clearly), a hotdog and ice-cream. it took me waiting for about an hour and a half waiting for him to finish his lunches while me listening to his iPOD nano. lol i think i added two scratches by the end of the day. blamed him for not putting protection.

we travelled to cineleisure to start window-shopping and we spent alot of time. we went to the MAC.apple shop where we played with the computers(laptops) there. i spotted one which had no parental control so i was considered lucky when every computer lokmun went to had that security thingie. we went to our blogs and tagged too. lokmun said that if he has the chance, he wld definitely give it a try at those computers. oh ya we also discussed about ipods prices and their qualities. i played around with lokmun's ipod with the speakers and chargers there. we also toyed with the big screen pc in the shop. after aweing about the latest xmen movie that was supposingly screening at threatres, we went to the HMV shop to buy lokie's carrie underwood cd.

after that we walked to HMV(his fault again) cause he wanted to buy carrie underwood's new cd. we bitched about all the bad singers like pcd and lindsay lohan cause their albums were like rushing to be sold out. lokie searched up and down for an album duno sung by who while i followed him dumbly behind. finally after he bought his album, we continued window-shopping cause the reason we were in orchard firstly was because i wanted to buy a bag.

we went to different shops such as 77th street and many more at the same place. we took a neoprint-card too. going back on track, i found a quicksilver bag that caught my eye in a shop called "Flash & sth " which was among the earliest shops we went to. after much walking and touring the place, we went back to the shop. i had a hard time whether it was appropriate to buy the bags and it made lokie real annoyed.( lol) ok so finally i made my decision and we left the place with a quicksilver bag and wallet.

lokmun HAD to stop by at an orange julius restaurant to grab a hotdog and blend juice. i stared boringly and played with lokmun's new razor v3i. i took some crazy shots but it was worth it. we also filmed a documentary on regina too. it was fun.

we took a bus ride home eventually. today was worth it. *smile smile*

i longed for a second time. hope we will again, lokmun! =DD

i totally dun get it. we had been calling each other sarcarstic remarks. even aarthi was against her. but just today, she had been ice-skating with her and her sister. aarthi told me that she had a soft side. so she made up with her. shld i too?

i dun have any reasons to talk to her now. i mean i scolded her a bitch and everything. but aarthi told me about what her mum told her. she is facing a worst situation right now, and even if there were differences, we shld stay as casual friends since we are her only friends. at that very moment, i was hit by guilit. true she is lonely and the world isnt really perfect for her. but the very thinking of patching up with her brings up the bad memories i had with her. i cant make up my mind.

then jill told me about the hindi school thing today. she said that mythili waved at her and everything. but jill was damn cold to her. right. we are now like treating her the way she was treating us back then. but if we continue like this, the impact will still stay like that. shld we continue with this kind of attitude towards her?

hais anyway i helped with lokie's blog templating today. at his house, he spilled his problems to me. well its really kinda bad for him. since his parents are like that. and erh his life is not real perfect either. i should also stay beside him and helped him along. yes oh ya we bitched about how rachel ann (philipines's idol) was copying mariah and everything and we even quarrelled with youtube-cum-rachel fanns. lol we named her the chicken slaughter queen. and oh lokie showed me all the videos where mariah sang an 7th octave. in fact i've asked him to burn me a cd full of songs sung by mariah carey throughout the years. thanks dude. i might appreciate u and mariah.

after leaving, i rushed all the way to the coffee shop near my house cos my mum told us that we are supposed to be there at 8 for dinner. i reached upon seeing myy family already started on dinner without me. we finished at about 10 and went home.

my mum gave us IQ tests at home. there was this toothpicks thing where we was supposed to get 2 squares when a number of toothpicks were taken out. i scored first for the first test while my sister grasped the champ for the second. coolness games.

hais still pondering on whether i shld still accept her back. was i mean and harsh? was i rreally that bad to her? but she was mean towards me too. its so confusing.

aww my heads hurts. oh btw pple i added the links of my past archives so u guys shld look when u want to noe okay. oh and linked candis too. XD.

others says that i post too much. maybe its because there's too much stuff happening everyday. even if it is the same old days.

i woke up today at 1.20pm. wow im such a good sleeper. anyway after that i went out of my room to see what's the commontion and there sitting on the chair eating lunch are my sister and her friend. oh shit so paiseh..

damnit was supposed to meet lokmun early. in the end i came around 4.30 after much stuff going on. i had to go to west mall to do some errands so erm yep.

his blog was ... not okay i think but i totally changed it to the "i love shawn" style with all the gizmos. well at least i can appreciate his blog more that way. cos i have something to laugh about.

anyways yepp now at his house and he's such a bummer. he told me the stuff that happened in school and the things going on between him and LAMERZ. actually after hearing him, i kinda am satisfied with the friends i have now. erm aarthi u rawks.

hais sian. his blog needs so much touch-ups. well its not perfect butden ah, not everything can be perfect mah. ok im out now.

hais. had a really bad time talking to HER.

this ass is really rude and disrespectful. my god i dunno her now. ack.
THE STUFF U DID WLD BE SCRATCHED OUT FROM MY HEART. there wun be anymore links to you anymore. i hateyou.

u humiliated and bullied my best friends. u act bitchy. u dunno what u always do. u nvr noticed.

well u noe what. im through with you. from this day onwards, we shall go seperate ways and erase everything we've done together.

no happy thoughts about you. all junked.

so yes GOODBYE FOREVER>3

wahahas. mie back frm sch. today very de junk lor.

hais firstly is my geog test. wth i got 5 and a half for the test. bummer. well whereas i dun really feel nth. cos the whole lvl stinked at the test too. even tanya got 1 and a half (no offence).

BT ALSO AH I FOUND OUT I ONLI PASSED ONE SUBJECT. yes and thats english.
-+ emaths BOMB. -+ amaths BOMB. -+ mt BOMB. -+ cb science BOMB. (chem fail, phy pass, overall fail.) -+ bio BOMB. -+ geog BOMB. (its still not sure overall pass or not.)

hais wateva. stil pondering over how to pour the truth to parents. later they wld murder me.

other than that we had our biology test today. man my mind was full of the stuff i wrote when i did the first test. i think this time dun realy helped at all. hais surely BOMB again. flunking tests had now been a habit.

but today we wrapped an hongbao for fanny. lol the thing is i din bring $6. so i owe eric $3 for paying for me. lol.

was damped with depression today. cos of the test results. its nt realli worth grieving when it was already past. so so ah i dun really feel inferior. WAHAS TAKE THAT IRAIMI.

we watched romeo and juliet during our cca today. again huh. third time this week. but den ah this time is the whole movie lor. so funny they all watching, and me and aarthi at the back talking about how mercutio and tybalt slap each other's breasts, and juliet raping romeo. slap slap.

jill, me and aarthi sneaked off early cos ms wee told us we were allowed to go since we stayed back thruout the past weeks. we took a bus to aarthi's stop and we talked about mythili's bad points again. eg mythili's C.
A and C are talking. B tried to talk to A. C asked B to shut up. u get what i mean.

after that we went to kfc at aarthi's stop. we talked about having a party or sleepover during the march holidays. guess it wld be set soon.

*yawn* so tired..

aarthi asked HER how she cld humiliate her infront of the teachers liddat.
SHE replies," but u all also did taunt me infront of friends what. like eg the matter of gauraff.
aarthi answers, " but it was already known to all of us in the group. so actually it doesn really matter mah"
SHE said," isnt it both the same?"

but what SHE did was far more worse. do all the people looking at this entry truly thinks that teasing you infront of ure friends is the same when u talked about the bad points of ure friends to two teachers who ares supposingly unaware of what going on between them?

SHE dun realised the whole reason why im so mad about her. aarthi already tried hinting her:

no matter how much u tease him, he will get angry, yes.
but when u start teasing his friends, even worse BEST FRIENDS, HE WLD BELLOW AT U AND ORDER YOU TO GET OUT OF HIS LIFE.

but still.................

i dun really think she takes this matter seriously. looking at her blog, she talked about me being mean to her on msn through the personal message way. but isn't she far more ruder in the sense that she''s disrespectful and even looking as if she owns her seniors as her servants?

that is seriously low. but somehow this wasnt the only thing she did.

~ - ~ to be CONTINUED ~ - ~

ITS NOT ME ANYMORE. ITS HER.

SHE who always think she's big. HELLO URE YOUNGER THAN ME and MY FRIENDS. although we did think u were our friend. BUT THIS IS TOO MUCH.

SHE is turning into a bitch. yes she is. recall. who was the one who always told me to shut up? AND AFTER EVEN 2 WARNINGS? U DUN EVEN TAKE THE WARNINGS SERIOUSLY. damn u. the first time i told u, u changed for the better. but den u turned bad again. AND I TOLD U AGAIN. and whereas u changed a little this time, AND DEN U TURNED INTO A BIGGER ARSEHOLE. i am not supposed to forgive you this time.

SHE who thinks that her attitude dun suck. but WHO WAS THE ONE ALWAYS BULLYING JILL ALL THE TIME. RUDE AND MEAN GIRL. during last tuesday, jill didn't even called you to shut up. AND U SCOLDED HER. and when she said she wasn't talking to you, U DIN EVEN APOLOGISE.

SHE who thinks she's right about everything. whats with the " hello aarthi? this is *what shit*?" DUN ACT AS IF U NOE EVERYTHING. IN FACT U DUNNO ABIT ABOUT WHATS GOING ON. aarthi only tells you because she feels that tanya needs help. BUT NO.. U HAVE TO CORRECT HER EVERYTHING.

SHE who thinks that she needed everything her way. WELL U NOE WHAT. URE FASHION SENSE SUCKS. SO STOP COMMENTING WHAT I WEAR. AND STOP MAKING AARTHI WEAR WHAT U LIKE TO WEAR. cos u noe what. U AIN EVEN A FASHION FREAK. U ARE NOT A STYLIST. U DUNNO WHATS NATURAL IS BEAUTIFUL. so stop as if u noe which is the thing to wear.

SHE who acts as if she din do anything. well u noe what. I DUNNO WHAT U TOLD HUIYI. BUT U MADE HER LIE OKAY. i've asked her not to tell you. BUT SOMEHOW I HEARD FROM AARTHI THAT U TOLD HER THAT HUIYI AND I WERE ON A DATE. dun think i dunno. and huiyi turned me down. WHERE AS IT WASN'T EVEN A DATE. if every guy going out with a girl means having a date, SEE HOW MANY THERE ARE OUTSIDE. friendship outing dun = crush or blind dates.

I HAVE A LOT MORE TO SAY. BUT I JUST WAN YOU TO FLASHBACK WHAT U ALWAYS DO. IN FACT STOP IT. U DUN OWN US AND U CAN'T CORRECT US AS IF U ARE AN EXPERT TO IT. COS URE JUST AS AMATEUR AS ANY OF US. IN FACT MORE AMATEUR.

HATE YOU. ALOT. NVR WANN TO SEE U AGAIN.

oh hello again. came to talk about my life again today. cos mite nt have time to post tml.

hais. today cancelled again. i mean its not that bad but we decided to give an hongbao of $6 each to fanny for her bdae. cos ah we pple always no time to go town and buy her a present. so kenny decided to cancel lor.

yes i had proven my existence. its kinda a great feeling to noe that mervin finally linked me. phew now i shall change my targets. JASMINE HERE I COME.

oh ya jasmine totally changed her hairstyle to the ponytail. its cute but somehow now she looked like all the others. cos all of them tied ponytails for their long hair. all except for zhimei (a.k.a. xiaopor. wonder can call her that?) and serita .

for pe today we played poker cards. boohoo me cannot play. in the end its just julian, yonghao, yee hwee and don and alot of others standing around to watch. sadistic. mingqi, jasmine, fanny, me, mervin and pengyang. hais.

did anyone see how the 2-1 soccer ball came into? its mashed cos somehow there's a hole. bummer. den they kicked around during class. woh zhimei got skill. mingqi.... HAIS LETS JUST CHANGE THE SUBJECT.

for english ms wee treated the whole class soya bean milk and we watched romeo and juliet during that period. its nice to let a teacher letting the class slack once in a while. at first we din really chose romeo and juliet. until ms wee said there's a sex scene. then like whoa whole class want to watch. watch until recess still everyone not leaving. but too bad ms wee had to go. so din get to finish the movie.

well after school we went to mac and chatted. me, q2 and aarthii-i. yes its really good to chat.

i think thats all. i dun mind me flunking the tests. cos alot of pple did too. so yep thats all.

=XX wheere's the smile??!

shit i really do hate my life. damnit.

hais ytd nvr come online. the truth is my parents really banned me frm coming online already. god im like WTH MAN. MY PC is MY LiFE.

anyways i'll just recall what happened today bah.

hais actually was supposed to go to town with kenny, jas, merv, fann and garr today. budden ah somehow jas cant go, fann isn gg too, and kenny said to cancel cos the stupid compre test wld take up time till abt 3pm. by the time too late liao.

hais sian. i flunked 4 tests: emaths, mt, bio and chem. but i did passed 3: a maths, physics and english. hope for geog and ss bah.

wth man. do pple really hate me. py is like still nvr put my name under his "gan" list on his blog. jas nvr link, merv nvr link. its true den huh. im officially being ignored. i cant be recognised huh.

oh ya SHAWN DIED TODAY. as in me mentally. i died. wahahs cant take it le.

PLEASE I PLEAD U MERV AND JAS. LINK ME PLEASE. FOR THE SAKE OF LINKING ME. THANK YOU.

so tml wld be the same again. my family's going swimning. and i am going town with the bois. hope they erm. recognise me. cant be ignored again.

mediacorps had brought out the craze again with popular "super" shows following singapore idol and project superstar.

man i think its damn stupid. like the superband thingie. even though its a good thing, sumhow i thought it to be a show with instruments. whereas the show is about looking for a few dumbasses grouping together to sing a song so that they cld win and publish an album which overseas pple wld also appreciate.

how about bands like 5566, energy and so on? they are like just seen and handpicked by song producers which saw the talent in them. but isn it a little unfair to the people participating in competitions?

another stupid show is campus superstar. why do they have to do this stupid show if a lot of students are still studying? wun it disrupt their education or somehow caused the student to slip in his/her grades? yes i noe that the students can like earn fame and money if they do win and even overseas album contract. but pple like weilian was onli entitled singapore's playmusic record company where as runner-up kelly poon and junyang gets to sing international? even junyang got the deal of singing the theme song of the local movie by director neo, i not stupid too. but what did the blind champ get? precisely nth. junyang got to host shows like campus superstar and superfunkies but weilian? again nothing. isn't it kinda unfair.

not only do these cause so much competition among participators, but the voting via sms trend had also wasted a lot of people's money. i mean like they sms to just vote for a stupid show whereas they dun benefit? thats dumb.

did u all saw the number of fans cheering at any autograph sessions? i mean like what the heck man. so what if u get their autographs? sooner or later it wld be useless and valueless. i mean its just a stupid signature of a singer who won in a singing competition. and also some fans which are more wild wld be like not going to school just to get into the line of the autograph session in the midnight. and when i say midnight, it means sleeping in the streets as well. isn't that pathetic?.

other than those factors i've mentioned, there are still a damn whole lot of reasons why these competitions are in fact meaningless. i wld say that again. they are stupid. no point watching these shows. why cant they do the handpicking of talented people privately? haisss..

its nt realli right but i think i pon-ed today. okay lemme just go thru what i went this morning.

woke up like abt 6 as usual. gotten ready and was like leaving at 6.30. u all probably wondering why i din came to school huh, since i was like prepared and dressed up and everything.

and then i left the house. and suddenly. i was thinking. "maybe i'll take a taxi to sko0l today. it wld be rather nice to reach early." and so i went to wait in front of the still-closed polyclinic opposite my hse to wait for a taxi.

its like all the available taxis dun wann to stop for me. i hailed franctically as the watch ticked. 6.40. fuck sitll no taxi. 6.45. man where had all the cabs go? 7.00. the streets lights went out. 7.10. called the comfort hotline to book BUT STILL no taxi available. LIKE WHAT THE HECK MAN ARENT THEY SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THERE FOR PPLE WHO RUSHING?

by the time it reached about 7.15, there was this taxi that made a u-turn. however the light on top wasnt on. so i was like losing hope. until it stopped in front of me and the side window pulled down. "jurong secondary?" the lady that was sitting beside the driver asked. i nodded and they told me to get in.

it turned out that they had actually wannted to drive me to school even though they had planned to go home. thank GOD. in the taxi, the couple asked alot of questions. eg" why did u hail a taxi this late?" or "will they scold or punish if u reach school late?". all i answered were vague replies. somehow today wasn't my lucky day. and accident happened up front this street and there was heavy traffic.

realising that i wld definitely be late today, i thought that there was no point going to school cos i had been later like 3 times alreadi, and if i was late again i wld definitely be given a yellow form. so i decided not to go to school. i told the couple to drop me at chinese garden. they sounded concerned. "are u sure ure gonna do this?" they asked me. i nodded my head and and paid the driver. however the driver was real nice and he onli took $3 from me although the meter was like $5. "i can't take money from you if i didn't reach ure destination. its okay i'll just take $3 from you."

and then i took the mrt back home. my house was real quiet since the family was like still half asleep. i smsed my sister inside to open the door, and she let me in. my sister was studying in ITE clementi campus, so her lessons starts at 9. eventually i got in and was like wondering how am i supposed to tell my parents.

my dad was the second to spot me in the living room in my uniform. i told him about it and he said i shldn do it nemore. at about 8 i went to the polyclinic to get an MC to excuse myself for today's absense in school. wow. i didn't noe i was sick. i got a huge quantity of antibodies and pills from the pharmacy.

den i returned home and it was time for mum's questions. lol parents are damn funny. dun they have like an information machine so they noe what's going on from each other?

well i spent the day in front of the computer or laying on the sofa watching tv. its real boring lor.

oh i wan to talk about another thing. its about my friend qing quan.

hais he really did pissed me off last saturday. actually we had decided to go catch a movie on friday since its a half day to celebrate the end of our common tests. but qingquan was going out with SC pple so we had to postpone to saturday and stay at home for the holiday. FUCK. STAY AT HOME ON A HALFDAY? THAT IS SO WASTED.

gladly the day went past and it was saturday. me was anticipating to go out BUT DENN AH THE ASS SAID THAT HE CANT GO OUT TODAY. damnit. i made the decision to call off everything since it was so messy.

its all his fault. man he is such a coward. i mean i can totally understand if he do this like once but ITS EVERYDAY IN SCHOOL. he dun make any comments about stuff and all he do is keep quiet. whereas he dun write in our QATS DIARY and only read it. so its like we are giving him our preciousses and he is keeping his own.

another point is he dun stand up for us AT ALL. it had been like the 3rd year but we always hear nothing from him saying that we are his friends. we are more like a "shelter" . he cld be like with the SC once he noes them and abandon us, and wld be like running back to us if he was not needed. as if we are his tools.

im so freaking pissed off right now. aarthi maybe ure right. we are the only two that cares for each other and the group. hais we are so damn pathetic.

today was another lonely day as usual. hais.
nothing much realli. except for the dream.

this wednesday i had actually wanted to go out with pple from my class to town and walk walk. budden ah. always kana pangseh. why is that always so.

still awaiting the answer from jasmine. of whether i cld be tagged along to orchard on wednesday. hais. i feel inferior. well its not the first time. bt still it was sucky.

i really hope to make more friends i dint noe. its just that i dun think im noticed, or maybe they just dun wann to let me join them. but its okay i guess. its already quite normal for me to stay alone.

i woke up today at 12.58. hahas i did take down the specific time. yepp and so coughing and sneezing and i think i m sick. fuck. =.= anyway i had this dream. den in this dream i was like in the water gasping for breath. it was real dark and deep. tts how strange my dreams are. i saw this big big abandoned submarine that was lying at the bottom depth of the ocean. i rushed in side and found an oxygen tank still half empty. so i used it and explored the ship. u noe its realli realli absurb? there was this decomposed body floating at the ceiling of the inside of the ship. it was looking down at me, n like suddenly it started throwing thorns at me. i was hit and den i became a walking dead. more like a swimming dead.

i swam up to the surface uneasily. i saw the whole patch of the city all turning into zombies. fortunately the effect of the thorn was only temporary and i turned back to a human. den all the zombies started walking towards me. i backed away and den i was pushed to a corner. den out of nowhere, an arm grabbed me and i was pulled into the shadows of the red brick wall.

i saw the familiar face. it was xiao chien. the gurl whom was supposingly dead at the start of 2005. the gurl whom i cried for when i heard her death. she explained to me that hell is full. and den she had came from heaven to bring all the people up there. i was shivering with fear. and den suddenly another face appeared. however it was as pale as a ghost. i realised that she was also bitten by one of the zombies. it was aarthi.

i woke up in cold sweat after that. damnit. why do they always have to wake us up in the middle of a dream? anyway at that time. i was perplexed on what the dream wld decipher..

anyone if u noe, please tell me.

im real terrified.

hello again. haiis todayy was okay bah. i need to get more outings liek this. except with my friendss next time..

anyway got there at abt 6.20 wit my cousin. brwed her mp3.. sot sot one de..everytym of by itselff.. hais me ahh oso dunn noe what i doingg. (fuck.) i rusheed my juniorr to come earlier.. cos i reached le very gu dan. denn i wass waiting at the bus stopp. den i saw a bunch of band pples (u asses.. wahahs). still waiting. den got this fcking idiiot keep turning back and staring att me. slapp him ar. stare somemore i gouge ure eyees out.

she turned up late at 7.20 (plan was 7pm, and was supposed to come even earlier). gladly we din miss anything. instead. the show dragged and started at abt 8.20pm. cos of the stupid mr. tharmanshamugaratnam speeched till so long.

well its still the same like other parades. cramped, sore legs n hot. in the midst of it i went to buy beverage to drink. left poor clara alone. haha but den ah the show quite boring too. not worth watching .. becos of clara lo. thats why stayed to watch till the end. WAHAHA I SAW YUSOF. with the draggons.

the FIREWORKS WERE AWESOME. i totally love fireworks ever since the new year's countdown where they were much bigger and amazing. after tt we followed the batch further down. i din noe there was 2 different points where the chingay took place. and so we kept following the group till the end. WAHA PRISCILLA WAS LIKE LOOKING FOR ME. called me at different periods, and i was further than her. and when i turned back and she reached. den made her walk all the way back.

we sent clara home at the bus stop. damnit i fell into holes in the grass. stupid priscilla say because of me. she even tricked me into a deep one. after sending them home, we went to kfc cos i din eat dinner. we tookaway and priscilla got the better share EVEN AS SHE DIN PAY FOR IT. also i took a taxi home AND SHE GOT A FREE RIDE. i realised i was so damn stupid.

yeah and so i reached home and here i am after my shower. god it 12.01 sharp. hahas. luckily i blogged in the afternoon..

yay.. im finally goin out today.. wahahs.. going out with my junior clara to watch chingay later.. nw just gonna go pack up some stuff.. wahah actually dun need hor. just look good can alreadi. YAY CHINGAY. cheers.

will rite after chingay also ahh.. bye byee dreams.

the greenie monster had really crawled up to my mind. its spreadly and destroying all my brain cells.

izzit just me, or am i the only one alone?

it realli did suck. i stayed at home today. thought might still be going out. aha. dreams and wishes. everyone's moving on. well i dun think im part of it. in fact i think that im still grazing upon the grass when the shepherd already left with the other goats. i came to find out that there were a lot of stuff happenin in the school that i didn't knew.

stupid, eh?

2 of my good friends dumped me.

maybe it was just me. i was thinking too much. i was thinking too much about BEING LEFT ALONE. but who would care for what i was thinking? i duun dare to tell my friends. they wld think i am really crappish. saying that i am always with my friends and better off than them.

if its the case. they dunno me yet.

i'm going to crash soon. not now but soon. yeah maybe i'll be like casted away on a lonely island. cos i dun think i belong. i dun think they want me to belong.

truths i kept real inside..
*IM REALLI SAD THAT I DIDN'T GO WITH THE JAS/FAN/KC/MER/GAR GROUP TODAY. THEY GOT TO KNOW EACH OTHER SO MUCH BETTER. why can't i like go with them and like "hey lets all take neoprints together?" or like "hey lets all get wet in the rain in orchard later?"

*shenn's house was a shelter for the ex-2/2s pple today. if i tag along it wld not be okay de.

*my friend totally cancelled the movie outing today. BUT THE THING IS EVEN IF WE DID GO OUT. WE WLDN BE SHOPPING FOR BAGS OR SHOES OR WATEVA. WE WILL BE HANGING OUT AT JURONG SHOPPING FOR STATIONARIES. clearly i did mind a lot. I WANNA GO TO MARINA TO SHOP FOR LP GOODIES. I WANN TO GO TO BUGIS TO BUY BILLABONG CAP. I WANN TO GO TO CINELEISURE TO CATCH A MOVIE AND THN TAKE NEOPRINTS WITH MY FRIENDS. i wann to bark about stuff so people wld notice me. but.

i dun dare. all i do is mess up people's lifes.

and when they think i'm always okay with it on my shell, inside its empty and miserable.

though i do love people who care for me e.g. aarthi / amelia, i do wan pple who AT LEAST BE ABLE TO NOTICE ME. right now i guess jasmine and peng yang are the only ones. though not as close wld be pple like iraimi, kc and fanny. but THATS ALL. THE REST WLD BE ALL BITCHING ABT STUFF.

but who would actually read what i wrote right now, at this very moment. they wldn give a damn. i'll just stay really quiet and invisible. so no one will know me. no one would rush to me and ask, " hey lets go out together" or "hey u wann to come over to my house" or even "happy birthday to you..."

gahh. thats all i guess. crap.
no one understands.
so i'll just continue dreaming.

.cried. the darkest secrets..